The Dumb Kid
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0One day a boy came home running while crying.His mother asked what happened why are you crying?
The boy said`I got punished for something I did not do’.
His mother said ‘That’s horrible.what did you not do’.
The boy in tears said`my homework’
This joke was submitted by kakashi.
Little Johnny’s Alphabet
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0Little Johnny’s 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet.
“Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?”
Johnny says, “Yeah!”
This joke was submitted by raju.
Math Jokes
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0If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?
Class: At once!
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That’s not fair!
Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!
What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
Square meals!
This joke was submitted by Rohit.
History Jokes
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0Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can’t sit down!
What was Camelot?
A place where people parked their camels!
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?
Must have been a duck family
A duck family?
Didn’t you say there was a quack in it!
How did Vikings communicate?
By norse code!
What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy’s tomb indicate?
The registration of the car that ran him over!
How did Columbus’s men sleep on their ships?
With their eyes shut!
Why aren’t you doing very well in history?
Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon.
How many galleons did the get to the mile!
What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?
Floodlights!
Who succeeded the first President of the USA?
The second one!
What was King Arthur’s favourite game?
Knights and crosses!
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom!
Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah’s court!
Wish I had been born 1000 years ago!
Did the Native Americans hunt bear!
Not in the winter!
Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren’t listening the first time!
What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans?
Speaking Latin!
This joke was submitted by Rohit.
Funny School Collection
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0Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening!
Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I’m not too keen on the time in-between!
Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what’s so great about that?
It’s snowing outside!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Where did all the cuts and blood come from?
The school went on a trip!
What’s the worst thing you’re likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The food!
The food in our school canteen is perfect.
If your a bug!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our puppy toilet trained on it
What’s black and white all over and difficult?
An exam paper!
How did the boy feel after being caned?
Absolutely whacked!
Teacher: Is Lapland heavily populated?
Class: No, there are not many Lapps to the mile!
Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Lapland!
Pupil: A reindeer
Teacher: Good, now name another.
Class: Another reindeer!
This joke was submitted by Rohit.
School Jokes
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0History jokes
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By norse code!
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!
Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss!
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
A math joke
Teacher: What’s 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That’s good.
Pupil: Good?, that’s perfect!
This joke was submitted by Rohit.