Little Johnny
+1Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.
Bert said, “I wish that was Sharon Stone.”
George echoed, “I wish it was Demi Moore.”
Little Johnny sighed, “I wish it was dark . . . “
Funny Boy And Dad
+58Boy’s father come back from uk & was calling his wife.
Boy:- papa mom has died.
father slaped boy & said why u dont inform me when i was in America
Boy :- i thought i will give u a surprise.
Submitted by suraj.
Mom it’s okay
+20mom:jim! i thought you wash the dishes after you do your homework! why are you watching tv
jim: it’s okay i haven’t done my homework yet
Submitted by jasmeen.
Calming Your Son
+9In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.”
A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.”
The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”
Submitted by Rohit.
A= B =C Calculations
+26Teacher:Students if a=b & b=c ,then we can say that a=c.Give me on more example…
(A boy stands up and says…)
Boy:Mam if i love you and you love your daughter then i love your daughter..!!!!
Submitted by αкαѕн ѕσηι.
Long Hair
+1A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it.”
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, “Son, I’m real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn’t get hair cut!” The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.” His father replied, “Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!”
Submitted by rajat.
Caught Speeding
+1The cop got out of his car and the kid, who was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.
The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Submitted by rajat.
The Dumb Kid
+2One day a boy came home running while crying.His mother asked what happened why are you crying?
The boy said`I got punished for something I did not do’.
His mother said ‘That’s horrible.what did you not do’.
The boy in tears said`my homework’
Submitted by kakashi.
Little Johnny’s Alphabet
+1Little Johnny’s 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet.
“Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?”
Johnny says, “Yeah!”
Submitted by raju.
Math Jokes
0If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?
Class: At once!
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That’s not fair!
Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!
What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
Square meals!
Submitted by Rohit.